Scandinavian Stoicism

The older I get the more I seem to want to connect with my ethnic roots.  I have Scandinavian roots on my father’s side.  My Great Grandfather left Jonkoping area of southern Sweden to begin a new life in America.  It appears times were rough for farmers in Sweden at the time.  I know little of him or my Grandfather.  The stories I’ve heard seem to suggest they were very hard working men. 

My Grandfather died before I was born.  He was 55.  My father never talked about him nor did anyone else for that mater.  I asked two of my aunts what he was like.  Late in their life they both sent  me letters about him.  They both described him as a serious and often angry man who became softer and more sensitive when he began to suffer from stomach cancer toward the end of his life.  They said he turned to God in those last months. 

I’ve heard stories of the toughness of  Swedes that immigrated to the US.  I am assuming my father and his siblings were a product of that tradition.  We seemed to have lots of secrets in the family.  By that I mean stories of suffering and grief that I only discovered as an aunt would disclose a previously hidden story of the family.  Maybe it was as they realized they were the only, or one of the only, siblings left thus making it easier to reveal family history.  At least there would be less upset as they broke a family code of silence.  I’m only assuming this and that’s and important clarification.  Unfortunately I was afraid to ask.  Now that’s not based on an assumption but is my training of many years of “not talking about family issues, especially painful ones”.  It was an unspoken rule, but we got the message.

To repress pain or to express pain

In America there seems to be little room for men expressing emotional or physical pain.  In most cases if he does express them, he’ll be labeled “weak”.  What does it mean to express emotional pain?  Apparently even God allows room for men expressing pain.  I think we’d have to look long and hard to find God condemning the expression of emotional pain.  It was King Solomon who said, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:  a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,…”

To Mourn or Grieve

To mourn or grieve is to feel and express sorrow, to weep usually over the death of a loved-one.  It is my opinion we have the right to grieve any loss that appears significant to us. 

Speaking of “opinions”, they are kind of like noses everyone’s got one.  Except most of us have many!  Of course we think ours are the right ones.  Feel free to express yours and I may approve it for posting on this blog.