Those who have never been addicted think those of us who have did it all by chose.  I remember when Nancy Reagan had a campaign called “just say no”.  She was encouraging youth to “just say no” to drug use.  It’s a great idea and I assume it helped several shut off the desire to use drugs. 

In recovery language we use the word “denial” to describe a component of addiction that keeps the addict from seeing reality.  Those who have never been addicted see us as totally dishonest.  They assume we can clearly see how we are thinking and behaving. 

The reality of being in “denial” for the addict is a state of  believing our lies or misconceptions of our reality.  We often truly can’t see what’s obvious to the others in our life.  When we reach the final stages of addiction we  usually live in more and more isolation and confusion.  We sometimes have moments of clarity where we somewhat see that we have lost control over the substances we thought we had controled.  These moments can be pretty scary, so we continue to use drugs to cover our uncomfortable feelings of fear.  What makes it all worse is we are also in denial of our feelings, too proud to say we fear anything. 

Towards the end of my addiction I spent about three years attempting to control my abuse of drugs.  I never told anyone I was trying to stop.  Maybe I did tell some I was going to slow down, but I do remember saying to myself  “just say no”.  It never worked until one day I humbled myself and asked for help to stop what I couldn’t seem to stop myself.  How easy do you think it is to admit you are out of control?