Webster describes the word “process” as: a usually fixed or ordered series of actions or events leading to a result. It occurs to me that this whole idea of grief being a process is somewhat absurd. It’s assuming we can somehow box up all the feelings of grief in some neat little box and explain it in an orderly fashion. How do you explain the experience of feeling sometimes shocked, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, sometimes depressed, sometimes afraid and sometimes lonely. Sometimes all mixed together at once, sometimes all thrown around in circles of overwhelming stress and pain. Whoopee, label that orderly and fixed. A neat little orderly package that makes so much sense to the logical mind. I don’t think so!
Wow, we are so complex. I can only “think” that because of all the feelings we have that get out of control sometimes, we must really work on “love, mercy and forgiveness”. Without letting go of my rights to be shocked at your out of control emotions and the temptation to hurt you back, I will be miserable and lost. The challenge is to rise above my initial response of hurt and anger and desire to hurt you back, just like Jesus. He forgave those that were killing him, and He alone did not deserve the treatment. I, on the other hand, am hurting people around me, even when my intentions are to not hurt them. I am in need of mercy and grace and forgiveness, and should be willing, with the help of God, to dispense the same to others, especially to my family.
Thanks for your journey and sharing it.